Singleness has always had a stigma of being something you want to avoid. Being in a relationship is a goal to achieve in order to have a better life…or so the world wants you to believe. Singleness always has the stereotype of the sad girl in her pajamas eating ice cream and watching a romantic movie by herself—possibly crying. I don’t understand when this started, but it’s a lie! People without a significant others live rewarding and full lives every single day. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was a senior in college and started dating my (now) husband. I was verrrry good at being single. Now that I’ve been on the “other side” for a while, I thought it would be appropriate to share with you some of the things I miss about being a “Party of 1.”

1) Being Single is Way Cheaper!
Being in a relationship means you buy two of everything: two movie tickets, two meals at dinner, & two tickets to that concert of the artist you love who’s coming to town next summer. When you’re flying solo, you only pay for what you yourself are gonna use—one movie ticket, one meal, & one concert ticket.

Find a friend who enjoys the same things you do and you’ll automatically save money because it’s like you’re “Going Dutch” ALL THE TIME! Not to mention you don’t have to stress out about buying gifts for someone for holidays and birthdays. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas add up fast!

2) You Can Make Your Own Schedule
When you don’t have anyone else dependent on you, you get to prioritize your own life with no hurdles. You don’t have to check with anyone else about what you’re going to do Friday. Now that I’m married, I have to check any sort of activity I’m interested in with my husband to see if A. He wants to go, B. He’s free that night and C. If we can afford to do the activity (because it costs twice as much), and D. If he can’t go, can I go with someone else. It’s just a bigger hassle than when I was in college and my decision-making process was “I like this idea. I can afford it. YES! I will go with you!”

Embrace your freedom right now, because the day will come when you can’t make snap decisions for adventures so easily. Not to mention you don’t have to hang out with people you don’t enjoy, which can happen if you don’t get along well with your significant other’s crew.

3) You Have So Much Free Time
Hanging out with a significant other is a huge time suck. Without someone always wanting and needing your attention, you can spend your time however you want, without feeling guilty that you should be somewhere else! You can work 30 hours a week on top of school if you want to make bank or dive into your studies and become a permanent fixture at the library. Find a hobby you enjoy or a volunteer opportunity to pad your resume or use your extra time to build up your faith with like-minded people. Use this time to chase after your goals full-speed and become the best version of yourself.

4) You Can Avoid Tons of Drama
Relationships and drama go hand in hand, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the relationship. Whether you’re fighting over how messy the other person is, or how they continually prioritize other people over you, you’re going to get into arguments. They’re unavoidable when men and women try to understand each other. Being in a relationship means that you want to live life with this person. That means that all their issues become your issues because you’re invested in them. You’re the person they vent to and bring problems to and you need to be there for them because that’s part of the deal. While this is a good thing, it can be very taxing.

Enjoy the fact that you only need to worry about yourself and your own problems. When you don’t have to come home and listen to your man vent about how Angela in Accounting only talks about her 5 cats and shows him her nanny-cam feed every day at lunch, that’s just one less thing to worry about. Life is messy enough on your own.

Remember: relationships are two people coming together. You bring all your strengths AND weaknesses to the table. The more happy and confident you are with yourself, the better partner you’ll be to someone later. Using your time alone to become content with where you’re at is the best way to attract someone compatible. When you love your life and can’t imagine possibly enjoying it any more than you currently are is usually when a cute stranger waltzes into your life. Or in my case, the best friend you’ve been crushing on since you were eleven texts you asking if you should’ve dated in high school while you’re casually working behind the coffee counter slinging lattes one night.

Love will find you when you least expect it. Make sure you’re actually living your life and not just killing time waiting for it to come. Stay busy in the in-between. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to live a less exciting life. I genuinely miss my single days. They were so wonderful and I look back on them fondly. I hope someday you will too.



Read more about Heather here. 


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