If I’m being honest, one of my biggest fears when going to college was that I wouldn’t make any friends. I think this is normal for all college students, but my fear seemed to be inflated. I was planning on living at home and commuting to college and still wasn’t sure I’d made the right decision. I feared I’d be isolated.
Throughout school I always struggled to find friends that I could really lean on and trust. I’d always have people to talk to during class, but there were only a few people I spent time with outside of school and really talked to more than regular chit chat and sharing information about class assignments. Which was fine for that time in my life, but as high school ended I felt a deep desire for real community. So when I got to college, I wanted to find those girls I could really trust and care for. But I was completely terrified that I never would find them.
But now I’m almost halfway through my sophomore year of school, and I can say that I’ve found those girls. I’ve found good friends that I trust, that I can lean on, that I can talk to, and can count on to encourage me. I’ve found these girls in many different circles too, from clubs, to classes, and even freshman orientation. Through finding these girls, I’ve found that the people you surround yourself with (your tribe) is so very important.
Your tribe is important because you begin to act like them.
It’s true when they say that you begin to act like the people you’re around the most, so it’s important that you surround yourself with those whose values match your values and whose heart matches your heart. It’s important to surround yourself with “goal diggers” and those that encourage you to go after your own goals too. I think it would be such a shame to wake up in the middle of this crazy life and realize you’ve become someone you hoped you never would just because you didn’t surround yourself with the right people.
Your tribe is important because you deserve to be treated right.
It’s also true that you need to surround yourself with the people who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. They should value you. They should love you. They should lift you up. They should encourage you. They should make you laugh. They should push you to achieve your goals. They should be people you can talk to even when what you have to say isn’t positive, even when you just need to complain.
People who do anything less shouldn’t make it into your tribe or your heart. It would be a shame for anyone to be treated anything less that what they absolutely deserve by those they are closest to. (But let’s not forget that to have good people in our tribe, we have to treat those inside like they deserve to be treated as well.)
I know what it’s like to need a strong community around you and I know what it’s like to when your around the wrong people. I know how important my tribe is. Your tribe can make you feel drained and unappreciated if you don’t pick them wisely. However, if you pick who your tribe is carefully, if you really pay attention to who you let it, they can be a major part of success and happiness in your life. They can push you to do things you wouldn’t imagine and get you through times you never thought you’d be able to endure.
So to those still trying to find your tribe and fear you never will, please don’t worry. You’ll find them. They’re out there. There are beautiful people out there who are perfect for your tribe. But never forget how important who you let into your tribe really is. You will begin to act like them and you do deserve the best. Don’t forget- you don’t have to let just anyone in!