Alternately titled, “You learn a lot about yourself and relationships after a long-term five year relationship ends. Pretty sure that Shonda Rimes could create a show on this.”

You are probably asking yourself these important questions right now:

You are probably thinking why am I just know doing this? Why would I want you to thank you after the fact? What possible good thing could come from this?

Well, I don’t have an important answer or even an answer at all. Is it for closure? I mean, that’s very possible. Or for the simple fact that even if you haven’t been in a five year relationship, at some point you know what I’m about to be talking about.  Sometimes it doesn’t take a five year relationship for you to realize these things. Sometimes it only takes a couple of months.

Thank you:

For completely and truly destroying me:

This probably sounds silly as to why I would thank you for putting me through possibly the worse couple of years of my life. It wasn’t just you that was destroying me; I was also destroying myself. I let myself become this weak, fragile, and a dependent person for the first time in my life. If it wasn’t for you breaking my heart not once, but multiple times over the course of five years. I wouldn’t have realized who I am, or how strong I am. I was at my worst and I’ve bounced back stronger than ever.

For making me realize just how stubborn I really am:

Some things I already knew and this was one of them, but you made me realize how stubborn I really am. I never back down from argument. (That might be the reason I’m considering law school.)  I always believe that I’m right, even when I know I’m wrong. I hate apologizing but I’m always the first one to do so, which makes me just as stubborn as never backing down. Even if I knew I wasn’t at fault, I still apologize. Maybe it was my stubbornness that caused so many fights or maybe you just couldn’t handle it.

For making me realize I need someone who will stand by my side and let me chase my dreams:

I’ve always been someone to support anyone of what they want to do. I realized that I need someone who will do the same for me. Someone who will tell me to go after my dream job, even if it’s in Seattle or somewhere else. Not someone who is going to make me pick them or my dream job, but someone who stand beside me and support me. I’d do the same for them, and I would expect the same from them.

For making me realize that I want someone as weird as me:

On a scale of 1 to 10 on the weirdness level, I’m a solid 2 until you get to know me. Then I’m at a good 20 on the scale. I obsess over television shows and characters. I do things that make people question if I’m normal, and sometimes I don’t make sense. I make terrible puns and bad jokes. Half the time I can’t speak in complete sentences. I geek out over random stuff. I need someone who isn’t going to judge me over crying television show or make fun of me cause I’m geeking out over something minor. Nah, give me someone who is just as weird as me.

Allowing me to walk away with my head held high:

This is something that I wasn’t sure I could do. I felt defeated, and I knew I was defeated, but at the same time I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Walking away from something that you love is never easy. I knew this when I made the decision to walk away, but you didn’t realize I was walking away with my head held high. It was in that moment that I knew I deserved better than what I was getting. It might have taken me a bit to figure it out, but walking away was the best thing I could do for me and for you.

Thank you for everything listed above and making me realize that I was about to settle for something that I did not need.

In the words of Little Mix, “Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man. You made my heart break and that made me who I am.”

katie-signature

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